whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
