I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
