Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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