What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
