I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
