I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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