I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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