i jhust puked up my retainher.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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