Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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