Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
