My sheets look like a crime scene.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Randomize
