i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize