Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
