Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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