I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize