just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
