I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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