I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
