This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
