So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
