Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
