eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
