How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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