i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
