I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
