We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
