I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I need water and some morals
My vagina just clenched in fear
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
