Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize