an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize