I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
