handjob tips. give me some.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
