I am in a vortex of obligation.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
