when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
