whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
