So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
