I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
