my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
