It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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