Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
