i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
