u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
