Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
