In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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