you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
