I must be too annoying 4 u.
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
