dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
