So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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