I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
