Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
