i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Will exercising make me less horny?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize