pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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