Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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