My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
