Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
