God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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