the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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