Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
