Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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