two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
