and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
