Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
